Mending a Glass Half Full

A few things seem like they're finally starting to pan out.  I've got my car back from the shop, work has been good, and I'm getting away for a bit this weekend.  There's a lot going on still, but it's the good kind of busy that makes you feel like you're actually accomplishing things.

I've been editing a lot lately, but it's also a lot of stuff that I want to work on.  I'm doing a reel for Stream Media's new website, a teaser for the launch of Weddingstar's 2012 magazine, and I've been toying with ideas for my new Salvation Mountain project that I announced earlier this week.  I think I'm feeling more productive and generally more positive now that I'm finding new things to work towards.

To say it's been a strange and stressful year doesn't quite cover it, but everything has also been moving so quickly that I feel like I'm entering another chapter of 2011 now.  I was sitting at my computer last night listening to music and reviewing footage and it hit me - my life could be so much worse than it actually is and here I've been stressing myself out about things that I can't really control.  

I guess we can't help but do that sometimes, and when things are already bad it's often easier to blame someone else because of it.  I've been challenged to confront my own limitations this year.  How much can I really work?  What's actually important to me? Where do I want to go from here? I haven't come up with easy answers for any of these, but I at least feel like I'm paddling my own boat more than letting the current push it around.  That's a start.

I'm really just trying to say that things are getting better.  The positives have not been as abundantly obvious as they've been in the past, but it doesn't mean that they're not there either.  This has been a rebuilding year, but you know what?  I'm cool with that.

Salvation Mountain Project

I've had it in my mind for some time to create something special with all of the footage I shot on the road in 2009.  Of that footage, my favorite scenes include those that I shot at Salvation Mountain near Niland, California.  My friend Dave and I had spent the day exploring the areas around the Salton Sea and capped it all off with a trip out to Leonard Knight's epic art project in the middle of nowhere.

Last month Dave passed away and this ultimately brought all of the memories from our road trips flooding back.  I started reviewing the footage I shot and began to find some inspiration.  There's a story in that footage and a short film there that I now feel compelled to create.  Part documentary, part poetic experiment, I'm already visualizing what a rewarding and challenging edit this will be for me.  It's a way for me to honor my memories with Dave, to emphasize what our experience at Salvation Mountain was like, to reflect on my views of life and death, and to really address my own emotions and frustrations with losing such a close friend.

My goal is to keep this project under five minutes in length, which will really help me to condense and further define my thoughts about this entire experience.  While I've just begun outlining exactly what I plan on doing, I'm feeling ambitious and charged to really create something special and personal that I could see myself submitting to short film festivals.  This already feels different from any of the other videos I've ever created or worked on, but I think it also plays on my strengths as an editor and the archival video work that I've done in the past.

I look forward to sharing more about this project in the coming weeks.

Salvation Mountain near Niland, California.

Giving Thanks

On Friday our family got together for Thanksgiving dinner. My parents spent the day preparing a delicious turkey with mashed potatoes, yams, stuffing, garden salad and pumpkin pie. It was incredibly good. I would have turkey dinner once a week if I had someone else to prepare it for me - naturally.



It's been a difficult few months. With so much going on it was a nice change of pace to sit down with everyone for a home-cooked meal. I feel like I've been having a rough go of things, separated from friends, lots of unexpected expenses, and a general apathy towards some of my routines. Thanksgiving is about being thankful though, and I've realized that as bad as things may seem sometimes I've obviously got a lot to be grateful for.

So here it goes.

I'm thankful for the people in my life, for my friends, family, and the random readers who will see this. The fact that I've convinced myself to keep this journal for so long must be a reason to give thanks too. I'm thankful for my health, for my body, for my mind. I'm thankful for my home, for my bed, and for the one or two nights a week when I manage to get a decent sleep. I love my car, and I'm thankful for the days when it's working properly. I'm thankful that I'm able to inspire myself. I'm even more thankful when others do it. I'm happy that I've managed to find jobs that challenge me creatively, and I'm thankful that I proved my fears as a film student wrong by getting them. I'm thankful that Arrested Development is coming back and that I still have time to watch TV, because I'm also thankful for my sense of humor. I'm thankful for good food. I'm thankful for those who share it with me. I'm thankful that there's a lot of love around me, even on those days when I don't recognize it.

And maybe most of all, I'm genuinely thankful that despite knowing my worst mistakes and weaknesses, I'm still happy to be me.

Here's hoping you find yourself in the midst of some thanks giving and receiving this weekend too. And maybe while we're on the topic, ask yourself, what are you really most thankful for?

Mission accomplished.