Over chipped pavement shadowed by golden facades, the palm tree lined streets of Hollywood Boulevard are brimming with activity. In a dream world driven by the promise of opportunity and stardom, the vendors of this dizzying street harp on about star homes, movie tours, and even their own work. It's lavish and seedy, exhilarating and perhaps even a bit sad.
The Kodak Theatre, home of the Academy Awards, is kitty corner to dingy tourist shops, posh retail outlets, make-shift museums, and chain restaurants. I love it for the same reason I love Las Vegas. It's an illusion that strives to bridge the gap between the homeless guy on the corner and the international celebrity that lives in the hills. The chances of seeing a real star amongst the impersonators is slim, yet still the continuous camera flashes dictate that everyone is invested in the scene.
A small time independent filmmaker like me is quickly lost in fantasy. As a kid this seemed believable, attainable, and even desirable. It might as well be a movie set now. Hollywood Boulevard is an amazing place that allows you to get lost in a flurry of movie gossip and entertainment euphoria, but it's also just symbolism on steroids. A fun ride for an afternoon, you can't help but feel like a commodity in such a tourist saturated locale.
I marvel at the Oscar statue knock-offs and amounts of people taking pictures of sidewalks, myself included. Hollywood Boulevard inadvertently forces you to consider all those who haven't made it while touring a walk of fame that lists those who have. Who are some of these stars anyway? The juxtaposition makes me appreciate my day to day editing for it's lack of glamour.
Another busload of tourists is unloaded in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre as we head into Madame Tussuad's to take our pictures with wax. It's just another day in Hollywood.
For more, check out the footage I shot of Hollywood Blvd. in 2004 and my complete photo set from 2010.
At times I find myself being fascinated by the simplest things. Moments of essentially little consequence, that only in the right frame of mind seem to trigger reflection or inspire me to think out a scene for a screenplay I haven't written yet. I doubt that this is uncommon as we all have moments that are conveniently entertaining, but I've discovered that the more I can absorb these moments the happier and more self assured I become.
For instance, today I was at Walmart and overheard someone say 'I have no idea where my car is, I parked somewhere out in the boonies'. I started to laugh because I refer to the 'boonies' all the time, and until hearing this other guy say it I thought to myself that I have no idea what that means. I guess it's just slang for the middle of nowhere, but still, boonies? When did that catch on and where did I pick it up? Pointless, I know, but there are a lot of dumb sayings that I've embraced over the years.
Also, today the temperature reached a new record high in Regina, beating a previous high from the 1920s. It was 37 degrees Celsius, the kind of hot and humid weather that makes you feel like you just got out of the shower and can't seem to dry off. The dorms are pretty good, I have AC in my room. My one roommate though, or person who also has a dorm here (roommate sounds like we know each other) insists on opening the windows on a daily basis (which leaves me following behind to close them). His reasoning for this could be to let out the smell of his cooking or maybe he likes fresh air, but all I can think about is that the work it took to cool off the place is lost in 5 minutes. Not to mention all the energy it wastes. Plus, how does 37 degrees feel good unless you're on a quest to turn your shoebox of a room into a personal sauna?
My history in residence is full of stories like this that both irritate and entertain (after the fact). There is enough material here for numerous seasons of a residence based sitcom. I'm a white guy in College West (the dorms) which puts me in the minority to a largely Asian population (especially during the summer when most Canadians have gone back to live with their parents or whatever). The cultural differences can be vast. Although, what I may justify as cultural differences is more likely the general stupidity of a select few.
I've learned to deal with residence life so when it came to the open windows on one of the hottest days of the year, I was once again cheerfully shocked as opposed to angry. In contrast, I've experienced everything from the routine loud music and roommates, to people using the toilet as a garbage disposal, cutting their hair in the kitchen and leaving it, and cooking food that smells like the sewer backed up. It's far from glamorous, but it's the kind of fodder and abuse that breeds creativity. No doubt, building character in numerous ways too. Any how, I've left a note on the windows, hopefully we can save some AC now.
The cherry on top of the day was getting a Slurpee (or technically a froster) at macs. With it being so incredibly hot, the machines were overworked and some of the Slurpees were pretty runny. A kid came up, maybe 8 or 9, and as he turned the lever to fill his cup a rush of liquid just sprayed all over him (clearly inexperienced). Noticing the obvious shock of the kid, and trying to hold back laughter myself I turned and said what anybody in that situation would say, 'that sucks'. Probably actually cooled himself off anyway, so, lucky kid. Not that I thrive on the bad experiences of others or anything, but it's the hiccups that keep things interesting.
Sometimes it doesn't take much to make a good day.
I've been putting off writing this post for a few weeks, partly because I have other projects going on, but mainly because it's kind of an uncomfortable topic for me. Whether you've heard it through the grapevine, or heard me allude to it in several previous posts, it is in fact official that I will not be returning to university in the fall.
True, I likely won't even return to the University of Regina to finish my degree in the film progam. I suppose this is shocking depending on your own personal experience. Some relate, some disagree, and generally those who know me just look at me wide-eyed when I say it. Although perhaps it's strange to leave after the time I've put into this education, with every ounce of ambition, passion, and confidence that I have I know it's a step in the right direction for me. Sure, at its simplest it's just leaving school I guess, but it's also giving up that 'student' definition; that comfortable and forgiving term that for any artist in my position gives you a title that says it's okay that you haven't made it big yet.
It's not that I don't want to make movies anymore, it's exactly the opposite. I want to get started with my life and honestly believe that these last few random programs are not only a waste of money, but a waste of time and effort in the way of real experiences and tests. Sure the piece of paper is important, and I don't want to express any negativity towards those who pursue it because I understand it's benefits as well.
My choice is obviously a personal one and in such a case, my sentiment is what really matters. For me, I feel I've been stagnant in this environment for the last couple of semesters and I feel like I'm drowning. The one thing keeping me afloat is my personal filmmaking (the blog/sasktel contest/etc) and in my own opinion, when you discover your inner passion, when you can see your goals, when you go out of your way to better yourself, when you become your own teacher, well then, learning through dictation loses it's effectiveness.
I guess what I'm saying is that I've been lucky enough to experience and learn a great deal in regards to my own productions and I can't take the hypotheticals anymore. Experience a bit of success on your own and how can you go back to just talking about? I want and need more of the reality.
I started my university career straight out of high school in the fall of 2002, meaning that by the end of this semester I will have been in school for 6 years . . . yes, for a 4 year program. The reasons for this are long, but the last 2 years especially have been plagued by a lack of motivation, understanding, and reasoning as to why I was subjecting myself to classes that seemed redundent and worthless. In argument of this I always tell the story of how in a 4th year production class one of the major assignments was to write about one of your favourite directors. I was thinking:
"I'm sorry prof, but after the tens of thousands of dollars spent to get to 4th year programs in film, i'm beyond telling you about one of my favourite directors. I can do that in a couple sentences, tell me I have to make another movie! Challenge me! Trust me, I wouldn't be this far in the program if I didn't care about cinema, and if you're concerned that Johnny and Jane don't know their directors and styles by this point - let them make another movie and they'll realize just how far behind they really are. It's a sink or swim industry, and all the times I was humbled in class only made me stronger the next time around. Honestly, this is the end, this is the advanced class, write a paper on a director in a PRODUCTION class? Give me something I can sink my teeth into! Please inspire me to do more than read the same books in the library again! I can do that for free."
My mind has been made up to leave school by a series of stories like this that I'll probably end up writing a book about when I'm 40. This stuff is funny the first few times, then it just gets painful when you realize how much you're paying for it.
So where does this leave me? Well, i'll be in limbo for the summer at least while I work to pay off some of my debt. Then it's an open playing field. If I wanted to be an accountant or an engineer my strategy would seem pretty foolish, but based on my research it seems that a strong portfolio (which I do have) is just as, if not more, valuable in proving what you're capable of. There's still a load of uncertainty in this choice, but at the end of the day, school will always be there, I'm still young enough to pursue a lot of directions, and by doing this I feel like I'm finally moving forward. It just feels right.
I have to admit though, as strange as it is, if I hadn't gone to university in the first place I may have never gained the level of confidence to take such big risks (especially in the capacity where I'm able to act solely on what I want, without being bothered that others would/could do it differently). I've learned to trust myself and believe in myself, and whether I'm in school or not, I finally understand that I'm beyond what it is to be a film student. Regardless of what anyone else may think, I'm a filmmaker, degree or not.
