A couple nights ago I was laying in bed tossing and turning, kept awake by my own frustrations about the new year. The problem being that when you're coming off of one of the best years you've ever had in your entire life, you're aware that things are going to end up changing whether you want them to or not.
This isn't a pity post, as the reality isn't that things are going to suddenly take a turn for the worse. In fact, my fear is simply that things will become too comfortable. That lethargic comfort zone has done more damage than I'd care to admit in my life and generally I have to make a real effort to shake myself of it.
There's nothing worse than becoming too satisfied with yourself and sinking into a steady routine - not because stability is bad - but because there's no better recipe for allowing your time to slip away. Despite being busy, I know all too well that a predictable schedule can still leave you feeling like you haven't accomplished any of the things you really wanted to.
I've become pretty good at finding a balance in this scenario. I need to be motivated and that comes from action. I also need to be creative, and that comes from having time to think, reflect, and put things into context. The two processes require each other and thrive with goals in mind.
I have a rather large amount of work still hanging over from 2010 that's sabotaging my fresh start for 2011 and that's probably stressing me out more than anything. I guess I'm just in a bit of a daze after focusing so much of my post-university energy on 2010 as the year when things would finally happen. Now I'm faced with a looming blank canvas and no real idea about what to aim for next. Something tells me I need to relax.